What Question is Calling You Today?

– #9 What Fears Drive Me?

  • Fear is a fickle companion.
  • Some fears can drive us on whilst others hold us back.
  • Feelings as a whole are an expression of our psychological reality so can resist logical realities.
  • The first step is acknowledging the place fear plays in our lives.
  • So, ask yourself:
    • What fears drive me on?
    • And equally, what fears are holding me back?

– #130 What Can I Do Today to Shape My Legacy?

  • This is an edgy question for me and precisely because of that I am leaning into it.
  • There can be a tendency to make our worlds too small, too tactical and big questions offer perspective.
  • They can also give permission to trim down the to-do list and focus on the essential.
    • And what could be more essential than the lasting impact, or ‘ripples’, our lives create?
  • In a sense, we are living the legacy of our past actions every day.

– #136 What Have I Settled For?

  • Our life choices say a lot about our innermost longings, expectations and needs.
  • They speak to what we think of ourselves, and what we think we deserve in life (or will settle for).
  • They are an indicator of our priorities and values.
    • So, what have you settled for?
    • And what does it say about you?

– #141 What Story Have I Told Too Many Times?

  • Stories are a central part of the human experience.
  • Indeed, our identity is an evolving story of who we tell ourselves we are.
  • Some of these stories free us to be superstars, others imprison us into a smaller version of ourselves.
  • These may be the stories we need to stop telling if we are to be free of our past selves and flourish into who we are now.
    • So, what story may you have told too many times?
    • What story might you tell instead?

– #175 What is Beyond My Control?

  • Do you ever find yourself worrying about things beyond your control?
  • You are not alone. And yet, this means placing our happiness at the mercy of fate.
  • The first step in taking back our power is acknowledging our inherent powerlessness.

– #177 How Badly Have I Failed?

  • We have all failed in some way but only the truly ambitious rack up big failures.
  • So, how ambitious have you been?

– #179 What Are My Values?

  • The idea of values is a widely abused term, particularly amongst corporates and brands.
  • The reason for this is that values go deep.
  • They are the basic (mostly unwritten) rules that allow us to process the world and live our lives.
  • They are the rules for which some people are willing to die or dedicate their lives to furthering.
  • What about you? What do you hold dearest?

– #199 What Can My Stress Teach Me?

  • Thinking back over the most stressful situations in my life and what triggers my stress in general, I have a question:
    • What can I learn from it?

– #201 Who Is the Master and Who Is the Student?

  • Zen masters often bamboozle new students by saying that they have nothing to teach.
  • By contrast, in Western cultures, knowledge has long been the mark of mastery.
    • How does the concept of ‘having nothing to teach’ challenge your understanding of mastery and the acquisition of knowledge?

– #202 How Am I Being Defensive?

  • There can be a tendency to identify ourselves with what we do or who we are.
  • Any criticism can therefore feel personal.
    • What if we didn’t?
    • How might we respond?

– #206 How Am I Being Impatient?

  • Impatience is a patient teacher.
  • Regardless of whether we listen, it keeps showing us where our psychology is still tripping up us.

– #213 What Really Interests Me?

  • Imagine a life unconstrained by the need to earn a wage—

    how would you choose to spend your time?

  • This is effectively what happens when people retire so imagining we have just retired can be a helpful exercise.
  • While some dream of lounging on sun-soaked beaches or enjoying leisurely days on the golf course, that’s not the only path.
    • What about you? What drives you? What fascinates you?
    • What might you do today to bring more of your passions into your life?

    – #237 How Am I Deluding Myself?

    • Being human inherently involves self-delusion.
    • From the moment we open our eyes, we interpret the world in ways that may not mirror some objective reality.
      • For instance, do colours truly exist outside of our perception?
    • Our brain processes such an overwhelming amount of sensory information that it has to be selective about what it presents to us.
    • And this is just regarding the tangible, objective world.
      • What about our internal, psychological realm?
      • How might we be deluding ourselves there?

    – #255 Why Don’t Good Things Last in My Life?

    • We don’t control what happens to us, but we do control how we respond.
    • That is the only thing that is within our power.
    • In short, we get to write the story.
    • We can decide to classify everything as “Good” and “Bad” and put our fate in the hands of fortune or we can embrace life no matter what it throws at us.
      • Which do you choose?

    – #257 Who Do I Feel I Need to Be?

    • Ever find yourself in a new situation where nobody knew you?
    • Did you feel you could be a little freer and behave differently?
    • Be someone different in many ways?
    • If you have, you already know that your normal persona is just that – a persona.
    • A role or set of roles you play.
    • The question really is:
      • Who would you be if were free of your own and other people’s expectations?

    – #294 What is My Relationship with Feedback?

    • Reality, as David Whyte the poet says, is the frontier between our own stories and other people’s stories. Feedback lives on that frontier!
    • Its purpose is to puncture our own stories and bring us precious insights from the outside world.
    • The key is how we respond:
      • If you find yourself classifying the feedback as positive or negative, ask yourself how is this helpful?
      • If you find yourself resisting the feedback – being defensive or feeling this is unfair – ask yourself how is this helpful?
    • Just be grateful and then mine the feedback for whatever insights it might offer!

      – #325 What Does High Performance Mean to Me?

      • Everyone will have their own definition of high performance.
        • What is yours?
      • What truly matters, however, is not how we define it but how we live up to our definition.
        • How well do you do?
        • What one thing might you do today to bring you closer to your own definition?

      – #328 Am I Being My Best Self?

      Remember – you never have
      to be the best, just to do the
      best you can and don’t worry
      about anyone else.
      John O’Leary