Communication & Relationships

What Question is Calling You Today?

– #14 How Do I Make Commitments to Myself?

Committing to ourselves is simple in theory but complex in practice. How do we bridge the gap between intention and action, ensuring our commitments result in the change we say we want?

– #17 Why Are We Having This Meeting?

Meetings are a major organisational challenge, primarily because most meetings are unproductive, and ultimately not only about what is on the agenda. How are your meetings different?

– #20 What Was My Most Memorable Moment Today?

Daniel Kahneman, Nobel prize winner, speaks of experiencing selves and remembering selves. The idea is that what we experience live and what we remember are two very separate forms of experience. Each day you live a full day and yet, over time, you only remember a relatively small number of moments. Which ones?

– #54 What Conversations Do I Need to Nurture?

Some conversations blossom slowly, requiring years of patient nurturing. Like a gardener tending to plants, we must carefully cultivate these dialogues, not rushing to decisions but allowing the conversation itself to mature and unfold. This is about engaging in thoughtful exploration and preparation, and recognizing the long-term conversations that might bear fruit in years to come. What are you planting for the future?

– #115 How Do I Feel I Am Disappointing Others?

From an early age it is only natural to want to please our parents and guardians. This can carry into adulthood as we continually seek some form of external approval. In doing so, we risk placing our joy and happiness outside ourselves. How do you feel you may have failed to live up to other people’s expectations? Does it matter?

– #116 What Expectations Do I Create for Conversations?

This is a recurring theme in my client work. A client might say “I have a difficult conversation I need to have – let’s work through it.” The first question is “What makes a conversation difficult?” Our answer to this question holds secrets to much of our psychology.

– #151 What Conversations Am I Avoiding?

We sometimes paint conversations as ‘tough’, ‘uncomfortable’ and even ‘hard’. And yet, how we think about conversations affects how willing we are to engage in them. How might we think about such conversations in ways that release the tension?

– #176 How Do I Measure Diversity of Thought?

Diversity brings different perspectives. Historically, diversity was something you could assess by looking around the table. But what about diversity of thought? How do you measure that?

– #200 What Concerns Might Stakeholders Have?

Decisions often seem straightforward from our personal perspective. But have you considered what your stakeholders might think? Try visualizing everyone at the table, voicing their views. What are they hearing? What might they want to know? What might their concerns be? Exploring these and other questions can significantly enhance your decision-making process.

– #208 What Would Make This Conversation Valuable?

We don’t always set the proper intentions for conversations or communicate properly to others our purpose behind a particular conversation.

– #209 Who Isn’t in the Room?

Key question in decision-making: Who isn’t in the room who may need to be involved? What is their relationship with this process?

– #217 How Am I Contributing to the Conversation?

Conversations can often resemble a series of loosely connected monologues rather than a genuine dialogue between peers. Frequently, I find myself in discussions where it isn’t clear what is going on, prompting me to ask: What are we truly discussing? And yet, I also need to consider my own role: Why am I having this conversation? What assumptions am I making? What is this really about?

– #229 How Do I Tend to Relationships Over Time?

Transactions can be instant. Relationships require time. This is an important distinction. If we’re honest, most connecting and networking is primarily transactional in nature whilst our relationships limp along, lost in the mist of our busyness. And yet, our relationships define who we are. I like to talk about the 3 Cs of relationships: Cultivate, Cherish and Compost. What relationship might you cherish today?

– #256 How Do I Greet Others?

I increasingly find that greetings lack connection. The words are saying one thing and the body language something different. It is as if we aren’t fully present – simply rushing by to get to our next meeting or back to something more important. What might it be like to truly slow down and connect? To get a sense that we are not alone in this world? To satisfy that deep craving for connection? To be seen and heard? And to see and to hear?

– #285 What Responsibility Do I Have for Being Heard?

When communicating we often assume that our role is simply to speak and it is up to the others to listen, hear and understand. And yet, does our responsibility stop there? Is communicating speaking or being understood? In other words, if we aren’t being understood, are we communicating? What then might we do differently to get our message across?