“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.” – R.D Laing


Q: What am I not noticing – in my life?

Q: What am I not noticing – in my coaching?

What Am I Not Noticing?

Tom’s Reflection on This Question

I absolutely love this question. I pretty much ask myself some variant of this question multiple times a day.

It really is at the core of any coaching journey. It is about how we pay attention. This is because how we pay attention dictates what we see and what we hear and ultimately what we think.

  • What am I not noticing about myself?
  • What am I not noticing about my client?

Simply asking these questions reminds us that we are only seeing a small part of the whole. The “field” is so much bigger than what we are noticing in any particular moment.

What else might we consider? How the client is dressed, what they are saying, what they aren’t saying, the words they use, the metaphors that resonate, their body language, their habits, ways of being, the feelings we notice.

This is in essence an endless list. And yet, it is somehow easier to switch our outward attention and start noticing more about the other. What about looking inward? How might we notice more about ourselves?

Programme Overview

I have the privilege of being part of an amazing peer-support group that meets every two weeks with one purpose: “to support our development as coaches!”

And yet, as we grow as coaches, we are also called on to do an incredible amount of inner work. Our mission has thus evolved to be: “to support each other as humans and as friends!”

The accompanying content was developed to support this process and has served as inspiration. The hope is that this content may inspire other coaches to set up their own peer-support groups or that it may serve in some other fashion. It is not intended to be the last word on anything!

How Might Tom Be of Service?

  1. My first invitation is to take maximum advantage of the free content on this site, including signing up for my newsletter.
  2. As you are reading this, you are clearly on a fascinating journey. If you feel you would benefit from us doing some work together on some aspect of your journey, please feel free to reach out and tell me how you feel I might be of service to you.