There are many different ways to approach this question.
On a surface level, we might ask “What are you not seeing?” Every day is full of little victories and defeats. We get to spin whatever narrative we want. The classic tale of the salesperson who takes every ‘No‘ as moving them closer to ‘Yes‘ is an example of focusing on victories. Each ‘No‘ becomes a victory because it moves us closer to ‘Yes‘. In essence, the question becomes What might I be grateful for?
The fact is that change truly is the one constant in the universe, and perhaps beyond. Nothing lasts forever. It isn’t personal. The same is true for everyone. It can just seem that others have more luck or more happiness but that is to ignore the random nature of our existence.
The more we make peace with this the more we can enjoy every moment on this amazing planet.
Which brings me to a slightly deeper level. How does splitting the world into ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ help?
My father died when I was 7 and yet I have had a blessed life. That grief has become part of who I am, how I raise my own kids so has become such a positive force in my life.
Simply living life and experiencing it is enough. What happens happens.
That is not to ignore our own responsibility for our actions or situations. So, we always have the opportunity to ask ourselves:
- How might I be contributing to my current situation?
- How are my stories about myself helping?
- How might I be pushing others away?
- How might I be sabotaging myself?
- What might I learn?
- What might I do differently today?


Questions in the Image:
- Why don’t good things last in my life?
- How do Good and Bad help?
- What might I not be seeing?
Want to Read More Around This Topic?
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl (link to Amazon.co.uk). The book delves into the importance of perspective, even in the direst of circumstances. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, writes about finding purpose and meaning through suffering and life’s challenges.
Nurturing Curiosity – Daily Practice: This is part of the Nurturing Curiosity series of tools, insights and questions designed to help nurture curiosity as part of our daily practice. In point of fact, every interaction we have is an opportunity to question what we are observing and how we and others are seeing the world. Also remember that questions come in many forms throughout our day. This question has made me step back a little further and ask: “How might I live today more intensely?” Every moment on this planet can be special regardless of what is going on.
What Thoughts Would You Like to Share? My name is Tom O’Leary, and I envision a world in which curiosity shapes leadership. In this world, leaders aren’t boxed in by traditional thinking or established playbooks. They are open to fresh ideas and diverse perspectives, fostering a culture of exploration and learning. My mission is to shift leadership focus from authority, over-measurement and control to curiosity, learning and innovation, empowering leaders to prioritise the essential. My journey, lived in a number of countries and through various languages, has always been driven by a profound sense of curiosity. In fact, life has taught me that possibility lies not so much in seeking answers but in learning to ask better questions – the ones that help prioritise what is truly essential. I welcome your thoughts, feedback, or personal experiences related to these questions or any insights they may have sparked.