This may feel like an edgy question. For starters, failure obviously depends on how you define success. I co-founded a start-up over 20 years ago that, despite a solid business idea and incredible effort by the whole team, failed to get to market and died after 2 years. On any measure (both intent and outcome) it was a failure.
And yet, the lessons learnt in that failure were instrumental in bringing me to where I am right now, so I no longer think of failure as bad and success as good but rather in terms of learning. That isn’t the same as deluding ourselves that we didn’t fail. We did and we failed badly. The important thing for me was that we were ambitious, and we learned so many valuable lessons.
However, for a while this led me to become more risk averse and I remember being shocked when my own coach asked me:
“Are you playing to win or not to lose?“
It was one of those questions that stopped me in my tracks and made me realise that I was playing it safe and no longer putting myself in situations where I might fail badly.
I made a vow to myself to follow my heart and my gut wherever they lead regardless of the outcome and continue to do so. It also made me appreciate process (how it is done) more than outcomes (what is done). If I do everything I can on a daily basis to deliver the vision and still fail badly, that is fine in my book.
- So, how badly have you failed?
- If you haven’t failed badly – how ambitious do you feel you have been?
Questions in the Image:
- How badly have I failed?
- How ambitious have I been?
- Where am I afraid to fail badly?
- Am I playing to win or not to lose?
Want to Read More Around This Topic?
Playing to Win: How Strategy Really Works by Roger L. Martin and A.G. Lafley (link to Amazon.co.uk). This is an intriguing book that describes itself as “a playbook for winning”. Blurb aside, it likely will help you build a stronger strategic process and put the numbers more on your side.
Nurturing Curiosity – Daily Practice: This is part of the Nurturing Curiosity series of tools, insights and questions designed to help nurture curiosity as part of our daily practice. In point of fact, every interaction we have is an opportunity to question what we are observing and how we and others are seeing the world. Also remember that questions come in many forms throughout our day – a discussion with colleagues around accountability raised the question of “If I am accountable to myself, to whom am I accountable to?” I have a voice of perfectionism in my head. He isn’t as loud as he used to be but he is still there. I certainly don’t want to be accountable to him and he isn’t always reasonable. To whom then might I be accountable?
About Tom O’Leary
Tom guides bold pioneers through inner transitions towards regenerative futures.
His primary offering – through a process he calls Ecological Coaching – is about working with leaders on the mindset, skillset and structural shifts that will power their organisation’s outer transition.
This means helping leaders thrive while creating ripples of positive change within their organisation and most importantly for the communities they serve and ultimately life on this planet.
It is thus not just about the leader as an “individual” but rather as part of an ecology of relationships. Within this ecology, he helps the leader feel heard, gain clarity, take action, build confidence and thrive all in service of something bigger.
How Might Tom Help?
My first invitation is to take maximum advantage of the free content on this site.
- As you are reading this, you are clearly on a fascinating journey. If you feel you would benefit from us doing some work together on some aspect of your journey, please explore this page: How Can I Serve?
- I also endeavour to answer every email so if you have any queries do reach out.
