No is a complete answer!!

Q: What is my relationship with No?

What Is My Relationship With No?

Tom’s Reflection on This Question

I love this question. Because Yes and No are two faces of the same coin, in many ways it is asking us why we say Yes.

I was brought up to be of service, so when I was younger it felt like I had a duty to say Yes when I was asked to help. I therefore said Yes out of duty.

It took me years to slow this down a little and ask whether I was truly best placed to help out. Whether saying Yes to the person in front of me might not negatively affect a previous Yes by robbing it of my focus and energy. I therefore equally had a duty to respect my other commitments, meaning a No was an honourable option.

On a work front this means asking whether I am best placed to work with a particular client. Might they benefit more from working with someone else? Might my other clients be affected if I were to say Yes to this person?

My learning is thus not to isolate a particular decision and solely treat it as a Yes / No on its own merits. That has its place and yet there is a much bigger picture starting with: What would a Yes mean for my other commitments?

Programme Overview

I have the privilege of being part of an amazing peer-support group that meets every two weeks with one purpose: “to support our development as coaches!”

And yet, as we grow as coaches, we are also called on to do an incredible amount of inner work. Our mission has thus evolved to be: “to support each other as humans and as friends!”

The accompanying content was developed to support this process and has served as inspiration. The hope is that this content may inspire other coaches to set up their own peer-support groups or that it may serve in some other fashion. It is not intended to be the last word on anything!

How Might Tom Be of Service?

  1. My first invitation is to take maximum advantage of the free content on this site, including signing up for my newsletter.
  2. As you are reading this, you are clearly on a fascinating journey. If you feel you would benefit from us doing some work together on some aspect of your journey, please feel free to reach out and tell me how you feel I might be of service to you.